Newest Mom Wars
by Micaela Williamson
Forget about breastfeeding vs. formula, stay-at-home vs working, I am waging the newest mom war on the Pinterest Moms.
This morning, while my kids were eating breakfast in their pajamas ten minutes before we needed to get out the door, I was making a lunch for my kindergartner. My son watched me get the knife out the drawer and asked, “Can you make my sandwich into a different shape?” I sliced the sandwich down the middle and said, “Look…triangles!”
“No, no!” he cried, “Like an animal or something. That’s what some of my friends have at school.”
“Sorry honey, I will try to do that tomorrow. We have to go!”
But, will I try that tomorrow? Will I get up an hour before the kids, shower, dry my hair, put on makeup, and make a cute shaped sandwich? No, I am not a Pinterest mom. I will stay in bed until the last possible minute, take a one minute shower while my kids look PBS Kids on the iPad, and head out the door in dirty jeans and a t-shirt.
Pinterest moms try to distance themselves from me, but I had an interaction with one today at preschool pickup. Let me set the scene:
My youngest comes out of school today with a giant neon fish stuffed animal. I was confused by its presence. Are we supposed to keep it or return it? Is he the star of the week or something? I notice a mom, size 2 with makeup on of course, and see a stuffed animal in her daughter’s school bag. I strike up a conversation.
“What are we supposed to do with these stuffed animals?” I ask, “We didn’t get any information.”
Pinterest mama looks confused.
I clarify, “I see a stuffed animal in your kid’s school bag too. What is that for?”
She informs me, “It was for the teddy bear picnic today.” I look dumbfounded. Pinterest mama continues, “The teddy bear picnic today where every child was supposed to bring in their favorite teddy bear and lunch for the picnic outside.”
Not only did we not have a teddy bear, but my kid did not bring a lunch either. Epic fail on my part, and I am being punished for my actions. Another stuffed animal is being added to my household that I can’t get rid of.
If you are a Pinterest mama, please note that I am not really declaring this a battleground. In fact, I am a little jealous of you. I am personally on Pinterest under Micaela W if you want to follow me, but I have never made any of the things that I have pinned…none of them.